41 Comments
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Betsy Robinson's avatar

Thank you, Pru. I learned about this from your Facebook post and have followed you now. Also read your bio, which helps a lot. I really wanted to know more about you after your piece went viral and was attributed to Liz Cheney. You are a breath of loving air and a wonderful writer.

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Marilyn S's avatar

Same here 👍🏼

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Louise Hall's avatar

Thanks

This is a brilliant heart warming piece

Beating someone up because they were misguided does not work

More grace

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Cyn's avatar

This is so beautifully written. Thank you! My heart, tho broken, is full.

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Marilyn S's avatar

Another resource is https://leavingmaga.org

Thank you both for posting this. ❤️‍🩹🙏🏻🇺🇸

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Laurie Tilton's avatar

Well now I will learn grace. My younger sister told me she only is a red hat because her wealthy husband and his family are. I will ask if she is happy. She used to call me a lot. I will state there.

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Aslo White's avatar

Good luck. And blessings.

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Lacey Camp's avatar

Thank you, Amber, for sharing your truth. I, too, am surrounded by MAGA and deep religion. I see you.

Thank you, Pru, for articulating what I can’t, for being our truth teller, and for your courage and bravery on the home front. You make such a difference!

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C J Hutchins's avatar

Thank you to Amber for telling Dr Pru your honest and poignant story. Thank Dr Pru for writing it so beautifully. I too came from a religious background that I've realized leaned towards Christian Nationalism. I've been seriously unpacking and deconstructing .my religious, cultural, and political beliefs, biases and prejudice since my husband and both parents passed in 2016-2017. It's not pretty. I'm ashamed of the person I was. I realize I may be too harsh with those who haven't found their way out yet. This account was a good reminder that it's a difficult process to rewire one's belief systems and face your own transgressions.

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Trent Straube's avatar

Thanks for sharing these important lessons. I can confirm them from slightly different personal experiences, as a gay man who grew up in rural religious America.

I could never change hearts and minds through logic or argumentation or guilting and shaming. However, over time, many folks did come around and started questioning their irrational and ridged beliefs — but then I had the responsibility to forgive and help lead forward. That’s not fair and is asking a lot (especially of folks who were abused), but that is life and the sooner those of us on the right side of these issues realize that it’s part of the task at hand, then … well the sooner we can show grace and help society heal and reach a better future (if it is safe to be in the presence of folks from our past—in many cases it isn’t)

Stay safe and keep sharing and educating!

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Selene Miranda, MSW's avatar

Brava, to both you and Amber; and to everyone willing to question themselves. Connection, instead of conflict and attempts at converting! 🌟🌟

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Sunny Powel's avatar

When I was working as a Case Investigator and Contact Tracer during Covid I learned that I couldn’t change people’s minds. I couldn’t convince them to get a vaccination, stay home or wear a mask if that wasn’t their belief. Beliefs weren’t like clothes that you can take off or put on depending upon the weather. Beliefs are rooted in the amygdala especially hatred and fear. People can change but I found it usually involved something deeply profound happening in their life. And you’re right, it doesn’t happen instantly. Rewiring your brain takes time and patience. I learned that all I could do is listen and not judge. Offer them support and help them along the path.

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Kathie Reilly's avatar

Beautiful piece, Pru.

My eyes opened at the statement about tools being privilege.

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Cecile O’Connor's avatar

Amazing piece. I’m inspired by this honesty and compassion.

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Turbinator's avatar

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this beautiful masterpiece.

You've instilled new hope in me.

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alexa oflynn's avatar

♥️ Understanding, Tolerance & Kindness cannot be overrated - ever. Never.

I will always welcome anyone who changes their view and becomes less superior, divisive, antagonistic and a follower of a destructive cultish ideology. To change must be so very hard and scary… I applaud anyone with the courage to do so. Deep down, we all want to be treated kindly.

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AMY WILCOX's avatar

Thank you Pru and thank you Amber. You've done so much to help already.

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Chris  Mein's avatar

Absolutely right. Demonizing people won't change their minds.

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